Please find a URL to a story below that illustrates why when creating a private event/party, to be sure to uncheck the "anyone can view and RSVP".
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ytech_gadg/ytech_gadg_tc3675
If you must use an online service, I do love eVite.com.
I think that they have a nice intimate event planning site.I am a big fan of that site as you can upload/share your photos of the event afterwards as well.
Image by: Sonya
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